Complaints and pessimism

Complaints and pessimism? Definitely Hungarians

Ethnographic report by Pfeifenrót Fanni

Everybody has problems, ups and downs in their lives; this issue does not depend on the characteristic of one nation. However, approaching and solving the problems is a more important issue when examining a particular culture. How would an Englishman or a German approach a certain issue or solve a problem? They will probably think it over precisely and list the possible solutions without desperation. They may not complain; they may not behave in a pessimistic way; moreover, they may not fall into self-pity. This is unlike Hungarians, who immensely tend to be overwhelmingly pessimistic and complain a lot. Much more than necessary.

It is a common stereotype that also proves to be true that Hungarians tend to be not only pessimistic, but also depressed. These traits have embedded themselves into the Hungarian culture and history. It is enough to take into consideration the national anthem. We cannot find jovial or cheering phrases in it.  Nor can we detect celebrating or motivating lines in the text.  We are more likely to encounter depressive allusions to the past or gloomy expressions to praying to God to have mercy on them. In other words, Hungarians simply cannot escape from their roots: pessimism is encoded in them.

To start with an example, I am sure that everybody knows the situation when walking in the streets and suddenly bumping into an acquaintance. It is inevitable to ask “How are you?” or “How are you doing?” to show politeness and to exchange a few words. Yes, an Englishman will probably follow this way too: asking some polite questions, answering with a couple of words, and returning the question for the partner. “And what about you?”. That’s all, no more unnecessary dialogues. However, Hungarians do not know this kind of brief but sufficient conversation. They love talking about themselves, especially about their current problems presented in long and never-ending monologues. It is interesting to see that Hungarians mention bad news first followed by good things, if any even occur. I have noticed that complaints and negative experiences tend to be told sooner than positive ones. Nevertheless, it is globally true that people would like to consider good things as fundamental in their lives, thus they think of bad things first. But it is still a very Hungarian characteristic to complain a lot and start the conversation with complaints even when travelling on transportation vehicles talking through mobiles and letting all the other passengers know about their whole life.

I have observed another very interesting feature concerning Hungarian’s pessimism. It would seem to be obvious that people try to demonstrate their own competences and skills by claiming how many things they are able to accomplish and so on and so forth. However, it is completely different regarding Hungarians. On the contrary, they seem to compete against each other for winning the award of being “the worst” not “the better”. I have heard conversations in which things like these were said: “I think I will never achieve anything at my work place, I simply don’t have the capacity:” Immediately comes the response from the partner: “No, your situation is so much better than mine. I’m a newcomer, I don’t have as much experience as you have.” Maybe other nations also talk to each other like this with the intention to encourage each other, but for me it is very conspicuous among Hungarians. It is as if they are trying to validate their own pessimism.

In conclusion, complaining and a pessimistic attitude are very frequent Hungarian characteristics. Negative things enjoy precedence in a conversation, and fighting for “the worst” prize is a terribly important award in the competition of pessimism. Therefore, it is not surprising if stereotypes about Hungarian people sometimes prove to be true.